Urgh! It’s you again.

-

 

Urgh! It’s you again.

So, I finally thought I had freed myself from the mental chaos that had been clouding my mind, making me see and believe in things that were never truly there. It felt like I had been trapped in an airtight container of confusion and illusions, that even after so many years of not opening it, it is constantly blurring the line between reality and my own distorted perceptions. For a second, I thought I had found clarity, considering the calmness in there (mind), but it seems the chaos was never entirely gone, only lurking beneath the surface, ready to pull me back into its trap.

Urgh! It’s you again. That familiar, uninvited presence that jumps up on me when I least expect it. No matter how hard I try to push it away, it finds its way back, as if it's been waiting in the shadows, just out of sight. I thought I had escaped it, thought I had finally silenced its whispers, but here it is, back to disrupt my thoughts and unsettle my peace. It’s like an unwanted guest on my doorstep, that keeps returning, no matter how many times I find reasons to push him away.

It was none other than my own other self. The one that resides more in my mind, than in the outer world, who I anyway have to breathe around, surrounded with so many thoughts altogether. I have googled the number of thoughts a person has a day. The answer was 6,000 thoughts. Per person. A day!

“Why do you have to step up on my door every time I have had a good day, and have to destroy my mental peace like that?” Tell me why? 🎶

(typing...)

“Urgh!!! Why is it you again?”

This is such a shame! 6,000 thoughts yet I am left with nothing? Me? Left with nothing? How is that even possible?

Well, of course it is possible. If I am capable of having 6,000 thoughts a day, I am also capable of having zero thoughts a day and that’s completely okay, frankly, a bit liberating.  

I will continue creating thoughts in my mind to pile them up once again, until I have so much to think about yet nothing to say, except for, “Urgh! It’s you again” …

Comments

  1. SanghmitraOctober 27, 2024 at 7:03 PM

    Mere pas bhi shabd nai hain ki kya likhun,bss tum likh rahi ho me padh rahi hun,bss.......love you,lots of blessings for you new journey ❤🙌🙌🙌

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousOctober 27, 2024 at 7:09 PM

    😊😊

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Hello genius people!

-
Image
  " Coffee beans ,   tall greens  and  you ..." You know that feeling when you go to sleep with a mind full of voices telling you to shut up and then the constant war of you telling those voices to do the same. But then, that very moment, there comes a feeling of  d rifting from nothingness into the fullness of thoughts, which is like standing on the edge of a still, vast ocean at dawn. At first, there’s a calm emptiness—a blank canvas of the mind where no particular idea takes shape. It’s a moment of weightlessness, where your thoughts seem suspended, like air just before the first breeze. And then with that feeling, everything, that seemed heavy, useless and uncomforting starts to feel light, useful and so much comforting.  Well, this morning was somewhat like that but with a pinch of paradoxes mixed in it. I thought, "Oh wow! there comes this ease in the air I breathe, and I can finally be going places from now on". But nooooo!! My mind and I have this s...
Read more

27 days with her.

-
Image
“In the middle of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.” For a long time, I thought I knew her. She was perpetually smiling, spreading happiness, and bolstering others' self-confidence. Yet, I was oblivious to the fact that these were the very things she yearned for herself—a deeper comprehension from someone. I thought I knew her. Indeed, she harbored dreams, not of acquiring cars or a grand house. Her aspirations soared beyond what anyone could envision. She didn't dream of a life of luxury or pricey branded clothes. Instead, she dreamed of a life that made waking up each morning worthwhile, greeted by the birds' songs, the first sound she wished to hear, the fresh air she longed to breathe upon opening her window, and just enough money to satisfy daily needs. She has always shown kindness to the right people, those who live true to their nature, even if they are often oblivious to their own deeds. But somewhere along the way, I realized that the per...
Read more

Watercolor eyes

-
Image
Oh! Here it is, again, Left me with hope and in vain. To say that all is well,  I still remember those eyes and the smell. Oh! Here it is, again, Left me with hope and in vain. To say that it was a one-time thing,  Like lemon and blood, your love sting. Oh dear! I found myself thinking, How would it feel to stop sinking, Into the memories and the long wait, Didn't expect this to be my fate. Now that it is here again,  Full of hope, love and pain. The tears are not just salty water, But echoes of dreams left to falter. Dreams like sipping coffee beside you, All along I didn't have a clue,  That it's not always what it seems,  To be with you was all in my dreams.   Perhaps, one day I'll find the key, Where you and I, both, will agree. That my heart is where your heart lies, Yet you left me with watercolor eyes. - Taruna Ghera.
Read more