It's okay, go ahead.

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 It's okay, go ahead.

 

It’s 5 in the evening. I got a call from my boss, probably she wants to assign me some work which I am not at all interested in doing. I came back home as I wasn’t feeling well. I went to the hospital but didn’t find a suitable doctor who could cure my disease. I had an asthma attack. Not a major one, just couldn’t breathe properly. But my other senses are working. Yes! Of course they are. My eyes are working, I can see properly, I can even talk even though I am having a hard time breathing. It was just an asthma attack. Now I feel like I shouldn’t have acted that way. Anyway, I laid down and eventually fell asleep. I might have missed a few important calls, you know it, intentionally majorly, lol. Was it really just an asthma attack? Or was it something that I didn’t understand and might be obscuring from it? “If I had known, I would have known, wouldn’t I?", said a voice in me. Phew! These voices.

It’s been a week since I am in the hospital, struggling with my illness called shortness of breath. To a person who always takes precautions, ends up suffering the most. I have spent most of my sickness period in scrolling Instagram, reading, sleeping, but mostly on Instagram. The mother in me kept saying, “if you’re capable of using Instagram, aren’t you capable of working from bed?” and the child in me kept ignoring it. Humans!

I have spent days where I kept looking at the phone screen while I got a call from someone, and just kept wishing for them to hang up so that I can then text them saying, “sorry I missed it, what’s up?” My phone is usually on airplane mode just to avoid conversations on call. And then I have the audacity of going by the quote "Wherever you find a glimpse of a free soul, know that is where my home lies." But there was still a constant voice in me that kept saying “it’s okay, go ahead, you are alive”. I AM ALIVE, what more do I wish for?

I read a quote somewhere, most probably only on Instagram that says, “do it alone, do it broke, do it tired, do it scared. Just do it!” So, I did. I called my boss, briefed her about my ongoing condition and it was all okay. I did think more than 20 times before making this call, but I did it anyway. I made another call that I missed on purpose when I kept looking at my phone screen wishing for that person to hang up. Thankfully, none of these people reacted angrily or threw a taunt at me.

You know, this all made me realize that the things that hold me back from taking several steps in my life are the same things that push me to go ahead with it. I am getting a call from my boss after office hours once again, but this time the voice in me said, "it's okay, go ahead”.



Comments

  1. AnonymousOctober 20, 2024 at 6:23 PM

    Go Ahead dear this is what the the life is just go ahead

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousOctober 20, 2024 at 6:39 PM

    What an interesting blog! Keep writing🙌

    ReplyDelete

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